Well, here we are, nearing the end of another school year (even saying it, I still can’t believe it!), but not just any school year. This year was one of huge changes for our family…good changes…but hard ones, too!
Last August, just before Katie and Austin started their 7th and 5th grade years at Cornerstone Christian, I was asked to consider a secretary position at the school. This opened the door for Addison to also start at Cornerstone in their amazing K4 program, which we had been praying about for months but just couldn’t figure out how to make it work. So, with God’s leading, we nervously leapt into a whirlwind of changes!
I went from a busy stay-at-home mom of 12 years to a full-time job outside the home, part-time job inside the home, and large ministry responsibilities with Mark at church. My wardrobe changed, our routines changed, even trying to juggle when to buy groceries (let alone cook them) changed! Addison went from a non-structured daily play time while I worked in the home to a very structured full school day 5 days a week. Katie went from elementary school with one teacher to high school with 7 different classes, and multiple different teachers and rules. Austin and Mark just “went” with it, as they so calmly always handle change. To say our lives were turned upside down would be the understatement of the century!
But God is good ALL the time! He knew so much that we needed before we ever did!! I absolutely LOVE my new role in the school. I not only get to see my kids as they grow and learn at school, but I get to be there with them! I get to help the school in ways I never had in the past. It’s given me renewed purpose and passion in life that had somehow became foggy as a stay at home mom with older kids. And Addison, wow! I can’t even begin to explain how good school has been for her! And, other than the fact that she hates early mornings ALWAYS, she has loved every part! I am so thankful that God saw a need and filled it above and beyond my dreams before I even knew what the need was! Here are a few things that my journey to becoming a working mom has taught me:
1) Each family and their dynamics were designed and created perfectly by God, but are all different. Just because working outside the home {or being a stay-at-home mom} is right for one person definitely doesn’t mean that it will be the same for someone else. It just doesn’t work that way. And, just because it worked one year {or in my case, 12 years}, doesn’t mean it’s going to work forever. Life changes…seasons change. God told us to expect it, embrace it, and learn from it (Ecclesiastes).
2) Self-given guilt trips are not recommended or productive. It does no one any good whatsoever for you to make yourself feel guilty about your family’s decision for change, or the changes that came due to the decision. Self-given guilt trips are not helpful, but harmful for you and your family. Just don’t go there.
3) It does not matter what anyone else thinks about your decision, your reasons for your decision, or the details surrounding it. I am the world’s worst about worrying about what others will think about what I do/wear/think/say/write/whatever….and you know what, that’s PRIDE, and it’s a sin! It doesn’t matter what others think as long as you and your family are following the direction God has called you. He gave you the child(ren) you have for a reason, knowing that you would {and should} sometimes do things different than those around you. So, don’t worry about anyone else.
4) You have to let some things go. When things change, things can’t stay the same. That’s deep, huh? But seriously…you may have made from-scratch, gourmet meals as a stay-at-home mom (not me…but maybe someone did)…and you may be doing good to make quick throw together meals (or even cereal dinner nights or take-out) as a working mom. And don’t even get me started on house-cleaning and laundry…but, you know what? It’s okay! Let go of those little things that don’t matter, and hold on to those little ones God entrusted to you.
5) Following God’s direction back into the workforce as a mom {or whatever your decision may be}, does not make you a failure; it makes you obedient! Everyone can have their opinions here, but the truth is, if you are following God’s direction, you’re not a failure, a slacker, or a selfish mom…you’re an obedient one. And, friend, there’s no place I’d rather be than in the center of God’s will, because He always knows what’s best for me!
I don’t know what change in season you may be experiencing, or may be about to experience, but if you find yourself in a changing season, I hope these things help you on your journey, as they have me. {And maybe you’ll learn them earlier in the process than I did, since I am only able to see these more clearly as I look hindsight, change after change.}
“We must learn and move on. Moving on means I must be willing to say yes to the unknown ahead of me and trust God’s leading.” — Bill Hybels
So, now, I am going to say YES to new adventures! Big and small! And enjoy the ever-changing journey God is taking us on. What about you?
Anita Hilliard
April 11, 2019You do a great job handling it all!