life – Desires of my Heart Blog

Free to be Me, or am I?

marsha0727 — Wed, 08 Jul 2020 01:42:35 +0000

I am tired…

Tired of having to overthink even the easiest of tasks like picking up groceries or visiting a store…

Tired of our world full of fear, confusion, judgement, and anger…

Tired of hearing about the “new normal” that is anything but normal…

Tired of trying to protect my family and our freedoms when there are no clear answers…

Just tired… emotionally… mentally… spiritually… physically… tired.

I’m not one to post my thoughts often, especially if it would likely be a sensitive subject. I have always despised confrontation, and avoid it at {almost} all costs, even when I have strong convictions about a topic. I long to be “free to be me”…free to not worry about what everyone else is thinking or doing…free to make my decisions and stand by them! I do my best to do “me” and pray daily that if I am doing “me” wrong, that God would show me and change my heart to see what part of “me” needs to be changed. But it isn’t easy! In fact, it is downright exhausting.

Over these last few “social media” years, and especially over the last few longgg months of 2020, I have quickly learned that, even in our free country {that I am oh! so thankful for}, it’s becoming increasingly impossible to feel “free to be me.” Everyone has strong opinions about everything.

In a world so quick to judge…in a world where the only right opinion is the one that agrees with you…in a world where everything is offensive…where there are more grey areas than black and white, how does one decide how to be your own person confidently and unapologetically?

I don’t know about you, but it is just plain exhausting {like 104% tired!}. I am learning and trying so hard to remember that I have an audience of ONE in God…He is ultimately the only one I answer to. And sometimes, in the quietness of a moment at home, I feel that peace where I am no longer worried about what others think about me or my family’s decisions, but it is such a short moment…nothing but a glimpse just out of my grasp, as life pulls me back toward people, community, and world, and all of their opinions.

In today’s world, do you truly feel “free to be you” or do you feel oppression for lack of conformity?

It’s No Wonder We Are Crazy

marsha0727 — Sat, 25 Jan 2020 00:47:54 +0000

Though my kids may disagree since I was born before the internet, I don’t consider myself “old”. But it seems that in my short 35 years of life, I’ve seen so many facts change to fiction (and vice versa), that I don’t even know what to believe many times. Yes, I get that we are always learning new things…and “when we know better, we do better”…I totally get it. But thinking about it makes my head spin. It’s no wonder we are crazy!

A few examples…

Eat more grains. Oh, no! Don’t eat any grains. But wait, maybe we do need grains, just use them sparingly. Fats? Sparingly of course! But wait, here’s some that are “healthy” fats.

Technology has come a long way! Make sure you’re teaching your kids how to use it, so they can be successful in the workplace. Don’t let your kids have technology…it causes ADHD and a myriad of other things. We should go back to the dark ages before we had technology.

Shop on the outside aisles of the grocery store for healthy living. Oh, but you really should avoid red meats. And not too many fruits…actually only eat berries, the rest are bad for you.

Give your kids options to explore extracurricular activities, so they can find their passion. Do you really think your kids need so much “extra”?? When we were young, we didn’t get to do all that…we just played outside all day with kick-the-can and mud pies.

Don’t work outside of the home. Your place is in the home teaching and training your kids. Why don’t you go find a job? You know you need car funds, college funds, retirement funds, and more not too far down the road.

Don’t ever just rent a house. You waste so much money that way…you may as well throw it away. Why don’t you just rent a house instead of buy so you can move if you ever wanted to without the hassle of buy/sell and profit/loss? And you may not even have yard work to keep up with.

Always vaccinate. Never vaccinate. Well, maybe we should…but on our terms.

Make sure you don’t let your kid have a smart phone…there’s so much bad on it. They get nothing but a good ole flip phone. Train your kids with technology while they are in your care/supervision, so they know how to act and handle it carefully when they are outside of the home.

Now, before you jump on my case…I know EVERY one of these topics have truth to them…good and bad. And I know that we have to do our due diligence and research the good, the bad, and the ugly on it all, and then, after lots of prayer, make a decision that we feel is right for our families. But do you ever get tired of making those decisions? Especially when it comes to your own kids?? I know I am. Allowance or not? Movies or not? This app or that? Vacations or not? These styles or those? Guard them or let them live and learn? This rule or that? College or no college? On and on and on it goes…if you let it, it consumes you daily. Every day, I feel like I am faced with 1,000 (or more) decisions that I’m helping (directly or indirectly) my kids to make…and there isn’t one day that I’ve been confident of those decisions. Especially when I think back to how many “truths” have changed in my lifetime alone.

IT. IS. EXHAUSTING.

It’s no wonder we are crazy!

But, my heart finds solace and rest in knowing that none of these decisions affect the one absolute truth that has and never will change…the love of God. I may make a mess of parenting on a daily…or even an hourly…basis. I may “scar my kids for life” with weird habits, “truths” that change over time, and personality quirks. But, as long as I make sure to live a life for Christ…share Christ and His love with and to my kids…and ultimately do all I can to lead them to their personal salvation in Christ, where they too will follow Him in all of life’s crazy turns, then I’ve succeeded.

NOTHING. ELSE. MATTERS.

So, bring on the craziness, Life. I serve a God who listens and answers my prayers, even the ones from an exhausted, confused mother who has no idea what she’s doing. I’m ready to quit worrying over the little things that are bound to change time and time again, so I can fully focus on the ONE who never changes.

5 Things I learned on my Journey to Becoming a Working Mom

marsha0727 — Thu, 11 Apr 2019 13:35:00 +0000

Well, here we are, nearing the end of another school year (even saying it, I still can’t believe it!), but not just any school year. This year was one of huge changes for our family…good changes…but hard ones, too!

Last August, just before Katie and Austin started their 7th and 5th grade years at Cornerstone Christian, I was asked to consider a secretary position at the school. This opened the door for Addison to also start at Cornerstone in their amazing K4 program, which we had been praying about for months but just couldn’t figure out how to make it work. So, with God’s leading, we nervously leapt into a whirlwind of changes!

I went from a busy stay-at-home mom of 12 years to a full-time job outside the home, part-time job inside the home, and large ministry responsibilities with Mark at church. My wardrobe changed, our routines changed, even trying to juggle when to buy groceries (let alone cook them) changed! Addison went from a non-structured daily play time while I worked in the home to a very structured full school day 5 days a week. Katie went from elementary school with one teacher to high school with 7 different classes, and multiple different teachers and rules. Austin and Mark just “went” with it, as they so calmly always handle change. To say our lives were turned upside down would be the understatement of the century!

But God is good ALL the time! He knew so much that we needed before we ever did!! I absolutely LOVE my new role in the school. I not only get to see my kids as they grow and learn at school, but I get to be there with them! I get to help the school in ways I never had in the past. It’s given me renewed purpose and passion in life that had somehow became foggy as a stay at home mom with older kids. And Addison, wow! I can’t even begin to explain how good school has been for her! And, other than the fact that she hates early mornings ALWAYS, she has loved every part! I am so thankful that God saw a need and filled it above and beyond my dreams before I even knew what the need was! Here are a few things that my journey to becoming a working mom has taught me:

1) Each family and their dynamics were designed and created perfectly by God, but are all different. Just because working outside the home {or being a stay-at-home mom} is right for one person definitely doesn’t mean that it will be the same for someone else. It just doesn’t work that way. And, just because it worked one year {or in my case, 12 years}, doesn’t mean it’s going to work forever. Life changes…seasons change. God told us to expect it, embrace it, and learn from it (Ecclesiastes).

2) Self-given guilt trips are not recommended or productive. It does no one any good whatsoever for you to make yourself feel guilty about your family’s decision for change, or the changes that came due to the decision. Self-given guilt trips are not helpful, but harmful for you and your family. Just don’t go there.

3) It does not matter what anyone else thinks about your decision, your reasons for your decision, or the details surrounding it. I am the world’s worst about worrying about what others will think about what I do/wear/think/say/write/whatever….and you know what, that’s PRIDE, and it’s a sin! It doesn’t matter what others think as long as you and your family are following the direction God has called you. He gave you the child(ren) you have for a reason, knowing that you would {and should} sometimes do things different than those around you. So, don’t worry about anyone else.

4) You have to let some things go. When things change, things can’t stay the same. That’s deep, huh? But seriously…you may have made from-scratch, gourmet meals as a stay-at-home mom (not me…but maybe someone did)…and you may be doing good to make quick throw together meals (or even cereal dinner nights or take-out) as a working mom. And don’t even get me started on house-cleaning and laundry…but, you know what? It’s okay! Let go of those little things that don’t matter, and hold on to those little ones God entrusted to you.

5) Following God’s direction back into the workforce as a mom {or whatever your decision may be}, does not make you a failure; it makes you obedient! Everyone can have their opinions here, but the truth is, if you are following God’s direction, you’re not a failure, a slacker, or a selfish mom…you’re an obedient one. And, friend, there’s no place I’d rather be than in the center of God’s will, because He always knows what’s best for me!

I don’t know what change in season you may be experiencing, or may be about to experience, but if you find yourself in a changing season, I hope these things help you on your journey, as they have me. {And maybe you’ll learn them earlier in the process than I did, since I am only able to see these more clearly as I look hindsight, change after change.}

“We must learn and move on. Moving on means I must be willing to say yes to the unknown ahead of me and trust God’s leading.” — Bill Hybels

So, now, I am going to say YES to new adventures! Big and small! And enjoy the ever-changing journey God is taking us on. What about you?

A Million Dreams

marsha0727 — Thu, 26 Jul 2018 20:40:35 +0000

“‘Cause every night I lie in bed…The brightest colors fill my head…A million dreams are keeping me awake. I think of what the world could be…A vision of the one I see…A million dreams is all it’s gonna take…A million dreams for the world we’re gonna make.” [from “The Greatest Showman” soundtrack]

If you’ve seen or heard The Greatest Showman, you probably just sang that song…and you’ll probably hear it the rest of the day (you’re welcome!)

I don’t know if I’ve hit my “mid-life crisis” now or if this is some weird way of coping with my turning 36 tomorrow (you know, I’ll be marking “36-49” on those lovely surveys now…great way to make you feel even older!), but lately, I’ve done a lot of thinking about dreams. Not the ones you have during your sleep. But real dreams…life goals…bucket list type stuff.

My first thought was…why don’t I have any dreams anymore? Or, if I do have dreams (because we all know we had great aspirations and dreams in our younger adult years), why have I hid them so far from myself? How do I get them back? Do I want to get them back? I think back to my young adult years, and some of my biggest “dreams” at that time were finding the right one God had for me (and God sent me way above and beyond with Mark!), settling down and finding a house to make our own, and having a family. And God has blessed in immense ways in all of those areas. But sometime after becoming a mom (times 3), it seems like dreams just took a backseat and life turned to survival mode on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t bad days (well, some were, of course), but I don’t mean that each day was bad…on the contrary, most were incredibly good! But they were all focused heavily on taking care of all of their needs (immediate and future).

Now I find myself in this weird area of life…a time where I’m even more busy with the kids and their activities (and mine!) with family, school, church, etc. But despite the busyness, I find myself longing for my own dreams to go after again. And, it’s kind-of scary! I don’t like the thoughts of “dreaming big”…because I don’t like failing. I don’t like thinking of putting myself ahead of the kids by carving out time to follow dreams. But I don’t think we were made to stop dreaming just because we had kids…just like we weren’t made to stop “dating” our spouse after marriage/kids…because, if we stopped due to the kids, what happens when the kids are grown (which is much closer than I care to admit) and we are just lost and lonely?! I don’t want that!

Mark and I have been trying very purposefully lately to get back to making our marriage priority, above the kids…taking time for us in addition to good family time. And, I’ll be honest, it’s been wonderful! I try so hard to slow down time to enjoy these years with our kids, but at the same time, I have this quiet desire for the day that we’ve raised our kids into adults, and we get to go enjoy endless “us” time. But that’s a whole different post for a different day…

So, here I am…

ending my 35th year…

about to jump head first into my 36th year…

and ready to dream again.

I’m starting a list…

no matter how scary it may be…

and plan to soon share some of those dreams…

maybe…

mostly for accountability…

but that’s another step…

for another day.

Today, I’m just going to enjoy dreaming.

A Mom’s Top 10 Take-Away Lessons Learned From Disney World

marsha0727 — Thu, 21 Jun 2018 19:57:31 +0000

I know it’s so cliche’ to say “hindsight is always 20-20”, but it is oh so true!

We just returned from a 7 day trip to Disney World with our three kids (age 11, 9, and 3). And, if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you should know that we had a wonderful trip!!

My hug from Minnie

I L.O.V.E. Disney. I try really hard to convince myself that I don’t…especially Disney World…because, I mean, who in their right mind wants to save for soooo long for it to be gone in a fast-paced, crowd-crazy week of “vacation”. Well, despite my efforts to change my feelings for Disney…I do! Anyway, that’s a tangent for another day…

Throughout this trip, some by purposeful planning of our wonderful Magic of Mickey travel agent and some by happenstance, we left with several great “take-away” lessons that we plan to keep and use for any of our future Disney World trips. But instead of just saving them in a file, I thought I’d share them here, in case someone else may find them helpful as they think or plan for their own Disney trip.

But let me preface by saying that I’m not a Disney travel agent…I don’t know all things Disney…This was our first family trip to Disney since our oldest two were 4/5 (6 years ago)…and I am only discussing from our most recent experience. You know Disney often changes things…so, be sure to recheck these things before you go.

And, now that all of that is taken care of…here are my top 10 “take-away” lessons (in no particular order) from our most recent trip to Disney World:

1. USE A DISNEY TRAVEL AGENT. I cannot emphasize this enough! I’ve done it both ways…I’ve spent hours scouring the internet to try to plan our Disney World park days to perfection…using all of the mom sites on must dos/don’t dos. But this time, I fully entrusted our dear friend Todd Russell to plan our trip from start to finish. He charges nothing for his services, but they are priceless! He constantly kept a watch on our package to make sure he was getting us the absolute most for our money (and saved us hundreds by doing so!) He kept up with our countdown…he woke up at ungodly hours to get us the best fastpasses and food reservations…he gave us a daily itinerary that helped us to see how we could get the most done without running ourselves ragged. He answered a gazillion questions before and during our trip. Seriously…I’m not getting paid for this advertisement, but I will never plan for Disney without him again! I just got to sit back, relax, and pick out cute family Disney shirts And, have I said it enough…HIS SERVICES ARE FREE TO YOU!! Okay, I’ll get off this one…but seriously…do it. And, if you want, tell him I sent you, and we’ll both get a sweet treat!

2. FAST PASS PLUS + RIDER SWAP. I already mentioned how we were able to get the best Fast Pass Plus reservations thanks to our Disney travel agent, but you seriously don’t want to do Disney without them! Especially on the newer rides. We would never have stood in line to ride Avatar (which is my all-time favorite now) without Fast Pass! We “waited” (although, it really wasn’t waiting as much as it was just walking to the actual ride destination…INside…in the cool air) maybe 15 minutes with our FP…while the standby line was never less than 110 minutes in the blazing hot sun! And that’s just one example! We did this to meet the princesses, to ride popular rides, and even to see shows! But here’s where it gets even better…if you have a child that can’t or doesn’t want to ride the ride, you get a rider swap. And, while it’s a great idea to rider swap, it’s even more awesome that Disney doesn’t make you do it back to back (because what 3 year old wants to wait that long for two cycles of a ride they can’t enjoy?) — Disney gives you a Fast Pass ticket that is good YOU PLUS TWO for that ride ANY time during that day! So, for us, we would ride Avatar (as an example) — one parent and two older kids…get a rider swap ticket for later, go do something the little one enjoyed, and then later, make our way back for the other parent AND the two older kids to get to ride again…still with little to no wait! It was amazing.

We were told by a cast member that this paper version would likely be going away soon, so make sure to ask when you go!

3. RIDE VOUCHERS FOR FAST PASS. So, what could possibly be more disappointing that getting to a Fast Pass ride only to see that it was closed for technical issues or weather issues?! We had this happen several times during our last trip…sometimes for technical issues…sometimes for weather. But, we quickly learned that if something like that happens during your Fast Pass reservation hour, CHECK YOUR EMAIL! Disney sends you a nice email that explains that your Fast Pass ride has been temporarily closed, and they not only offer you a new Fast Pass that is good for the entire rest of the day (should the ride reopen), but they also give you a nice long list of OTHER options you can use as a Fast Pass in place of the one that was shut down! Since, there were a few rides that we had FP reservations for that my youngest daughter couldn’t or didn’t want to ride, this was an even bigger blessing in disguise for us! One of those said rides shut down temporarily (and the older kids had already had a chance to ride it), so we were able to use those ride vouchers to visit a few characters that we just hadn’t wanted to take 60 minutes to wait in stand-by for. It was win-win for everyone! The cast members don’t always know what you are talking about if you tell them you had this option sent via email, but they offered to “let us try it” to see, and sure enough, every time it happened, our bands would recognize it as a FP, no matter what we chose from the list! The only thing is that I wish I would have known this earlier than day 3 of the parks, because, I wasn’t checking my email regularly until I found this out by chance. We would’ve had even more chances on those first 3 days when several rides were down. They DO NOT alert you via My Experience app, although that would have been handy, since everyone uses that to keep up with their reservations, etc. So, if you are in the parks, and you see a ride closed that you had a FP for, CHECK YOUR EMAIL…seriously…here’s part of what one of my emails looked like:

4. MAGIC BAND CUSTOMIZATION. Magic Bands are awesome! I love not having to carry cards around everywhere like we did before! But they are plain colors…unless you plan to spend $25-50 on average for specialty bands. UNLESS you know about Etsy! I found the cutest vinyl decals for our magic bands on Etsy for $3-7, so we decided to try them out! They were quite easy to put on, and they lasted the whole week, even in the pools, etc., without issues. We had soooo many cast members ask where we found our bands because they had never seen any like it. It was the perfect way to customize without breaking the bank! Here’s the link to my two favorites: Mermaid Glitter and Princess Glitter

Mom & Addison’s “glitter magic bands (thanks to vinyl stickers!)

5. DINING PLANS. I have told my husband again and again that you really can’t “do” Disney “carefree” without being on a dining plan! It is so nice to be able to treat the kids (and yourselves) to smoothies or slushies or any other number of deliciously satisfying snacks while in the parks (especially when it is over 100* heat index), without having to feel the hit on your bank account. The Disney dining plan is definitely the way to go! And, if you go in the fall, you may even get lucky enough to have it FREE with your resort booking. However, our big take away from our most recent family trip was that we would have rather had the quick service/snack ONLY plan. Our plan gave us snack/quick service/table service for each day. And, while the table service does allow you the character meals, it also means fancier meals (that my younger kids often didn’t care for)…reservations (which meant we had to plan our days around leaving early enough to get to the dinner destination)…and tips for a meal that in Disney “cost” $150-200 for a family of 5, which meant you basically paid for a quick service meal out of pocket each time you left a tip at a table service restaurant. If you are going for fancy…wanting lobster, steak, etc., then you probably would not want to leave out the table service meals. But if you’re like us…doing Disney on a budget…with young kids…who aren’t used to “fancy” food…trust me when I say, quick service will do you best! And the options are endless on quick service meals, too! You aren’t limited to hamburgers and fries all week! We preferred it to our fancy meals about 75% of the time! Just food for thought…

6. CHECK YOUR BILL AT CHECKOUT. So, this should go without saying, but just putting this out there due to our experience. Magic Bands are wonderfully convenient. When you need to purchase something or pay a tip, scan your band and it’ll be added to the card you have on file. It basically charges it to your room, which is less convenient for people like me who watch each transaction as it posts…because, it’s a little harder to keep up with your many receipts from your dining plan throughout the week, to compare it with your bill at the end of the stay. However, my bill was astronomical, and I knew it shouldn’t be because I had kept pretty accurate records of each spending. Come to find out, they had somehow managed to bill someone else’s complete family table service meal (same evening, later time) to mine. They took a bit to research the issue, and did credit it back, but it really had me wondering, how does this even happen?! And how many times does it happen on smaller things that we may have overlooked? So, my suggestion, faithfully keep ALL of your receipts (even though it’s frustrating), and check your bill very carefully! Mistakes can (and do) happen…

7. OPT-OUT OF MAID SERVICE. When we checked into our resort, we were offered an immediate $60 gift card if we “opted-out” of maid service. Basically, telling them they didn’t have to make our beds daily (which, honestly, I preferred, since we could keep them fixed as we wanted them). They still came through and checked daily for security reasons…they still refilled our soaps, etc….they still took out the trash. (And honestly, they still sometimes made our beds, even when we told them not to). But, hey! We got an extra $60 to spend in the gift shops! If you’re given this option, take it! What’s not to lose?

Addison’s “Mickey” bed — it’s a child size murphy bed, and it was PERFECT for her!

8. PURCHASE THE MAGIC DISNEY PHOTO PASS. Our travel agent told us about this early on and added it to our package, so we knew in advance that we would be able to download high resolution images from ANY of the photographs taken by the cast members, so we took full advantage of it! We got amazing pictures (and even some videos!) of roller coaster rides, character meet/greets, shows, family pictures, and so much more. Of course, we had our phones for our own photographs, but it was so nice to let them “do their thing” with their high quality cameras and not feeling regret for not bringing my own. Each time they take a picture of anyone in your group (even if you aren’t together), they scan your magic band, and it “magically” appears in your Disney My Experience account for viewing and downloading. WIN!!

Addison’s first “big” rollercoaster — her picture looks concerned, but she said she loved it!

9. PRE-ORDER YOUR FOOD. I know I already touched on the whole dining thing, but many of the quick service meals can now be pre-ordered at Disney! When I saw this, my first thought was, “I won’t be doing that, because I won’t know when I’ll be there.” But oh, I was so wrong! You can pre-order at any time (the night before…or even when you just walk in and find the only available table and you don’t want to lose it)…pre-order from the app, tell them “I’m here, make my food”, and wait for it to magically appear! This is a LIFE-SAVER when you have kids, especially young ones! I’m hoping this catches on and even MORE restaurants offer it soon. But you can filter the restaurants on the Disney My Experience app to show the ones that do offer it (we did this often!). Because it is just SO convenient and stress-free. And for a mom with three kids at Disney World in one of the busiest times of the year, that means THE WORLD!

10. BE FLUID…GO WITH THE FLOW. I struggled to decide what would be my final “take-away” from this trip, but this was my husband’s one main take-away, and I felt that it was a very important one…one that helped us to enjoy our trip to the fullest! Buses don’t always arrive on schedule (actually, if they are on schedule, you should count that as magical!), weather isn’t predictable, health (or how exhausted you are) isn’t always what you expect, etc. Things happen. Life happens. It’s good to have a “suggested” plan for each day, but know that it’s just that…a suggestion. Sometimes, you need to leave early and take a nap, then return later. Sometimes, it’s best to sleep in instead of getting to early magic hours rope drop. Sometimes, you need a little extra time at the resort’s amazing pool/water park area. And sometimes, you need to take a late afternoon nap as a family, so you can enjoy the cool, breezy late extra magic hours that go til 1am (because even as typical “morning people”, this ended up being our favorite time of all due to the temperatures and lesser crowds)! Just be okay with change…when you don’t stress about it, the kids don’t stress about it, and you all have way more magical fun!

This is a “bonus” image from our Disney Photo Pass from one of our favorite shows!

Okay, I’m done. Well, not really, but I titled it the top 10, and I’m at 10 now, so I’m making myself stop for you. But, if you have questions, especially while it’s so fresh on my mind, let me know! I’m glad to share any of my “learning” with you. Maybe it’ll help in your future planning! And mine, too!! (Because I’ve already begged for a Mom/Dad only trip to Disney as an anniversary trip in the future…and he just loved that idea…haha…well, he didn’t…but he loves me, and that’s enough.)

In Bloom | Book Review

marsha0727 — Fri, 25 May 2018 20:13:07 +0000

I don’t know about you, but I am pretty sure that if there were pictures in the dictionary, you would find mine right beside the word “insecure“.

So, it’s no surprise that I was thrilled to read this book as soon as I saw the title:

Because, who doesn’t want the Biblical kind of confidence in this thing called life?!

So, within even the first few pages of this book (I am reviewing the digital version), I knew this book was written for me. Kayla is so completely honest in this book about her life, her fears, her insecurities, her mistakes, from adolescent age to adult…that any mom cannot help but relate to something within the pages of this book. But, most likely, you’ll be like me…laughing…crying…nodding your head…and wondering how she could possibly know so much about you when you know you have kept it hidden well beneath the walls of your life.

I wanted to be able to embrace it, believe it, and live it. I wanted a hallowed spirit of confidence to be my anthem. The problem was, after spending so many years feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, I didn’t really know who I was. I had sort of pieced together a false personality based on attributes that people seemed to admire in my friends or what I thought was expected of me.

She mixes her life story, her testimony, with lots of witty humor and with God’s word, and how she’s learned from it over the years.

The problem was that I had let myself be defined by other people. I had set my guidelines by other flawed humans rather than by the spirit of who I was created to be. Defining ourselves by the narrow perspective of another person limits us to only a small portion of our potential. It creates boundaries and restrictions where God intended for us to experience freedom. Seriously, that’s not my opinion, that’s in the actual Bible: “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Cor. 3:17).

It’s one thing to know you are insecure, but this book takes it to a whole new level as it challenges you to learn that God didn’t make you to be insecure…to set unrealistic expectations for yourself and your life as a mom/wife/employee/homemaker/etc. And how to change.

I remember my husband and I discussing my dislike of cooking when we were engaged, declaring my insistence that I would enjoy it when we were married. “Then I’ll be cooking as a wife. It will be, like, my job,” I told him emphatically. It’s so cute how naïve I was. I truly believed that once we said, “I do,” I would be blessed with Martha Stewart-esque domestic skills and that I would count it all joy because that’s what I’d been taught about biblical womanhood. So you can see how it was slightly confusing to me when I felt less like counting it all joy and more like throwing my spatula across the room the sixth time I burnt our dinner black.

I read this book pretty slowly. Much due to the busy life I have with the three kids and all that we are uncles in as a family, but I decided I liked it more in short sessions–a little laughter with a challenge during my little one’s nap time. I personally wouldn’t recommend rushing through it, though it is not a hard read at all!

The Word is our metamorphosis, coming to life within us, and we emerge stretching damp gossamer wings of grace.

If you are a woman/wife/mom, this book is for you. I am not sure that I have ever read a more open and honest book. It was refreshing to feel that I’m not alone in my innermost thoughts and fears, and that there are others who not only have been there, but have found their way away from their fears and insecurities and straight to God’s grace and confidence in who He designed them to be.

You can find your copy here using my affiliate link:

I received this book for free from B&H Publishing Group Blogger Program for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Hatching Chicks | Our Learning Adventure

marsha0727 — Wed, 16 May 2018 18:20:07 +0000

For the last month, we have (thanks to the wonderful teaching and help of a sweet lady we know) been watching the cycles of a chick!

Yep, I said chick. Three, to be exact… because, well…if you have kids, you know they can’t “share” an egg.

We have listened to those eggs “turning” in the incubator for weeks.

We’ve added water almost daily.

We’ve watched.

We’ve waited.

We’ve “candled” the eggs to see their changing progress inside (very cool)!

We’ve heard the chirps from within.

We’ve seen the movements from within.

And finally, after 3 long weeks (and what felt like an eternity to my three-year-old), we’ve watched them hatch!

Each different.

Each on their own time.

Each in their own way.

And, we couldn’t help but laugh when we realized that somehow through these last few weeks, those chicks “inherited” traits from their “kid parents” that they would be born with…hilarious!

Katie’s chick is a Silkie (she named it Kinkajou…don’t ask…but I think it came from some character in a book series she’s been reading)…Kinkajou was the first to hatch. Well, it wasn’t the first to start hatching, but once it heard that another was taking first place, it put it’s beak to work and rushed it’s way into this world. DRAMA. In the middle of the night. DRAMA. And, unfortunately, it was born with something called spraddle leg, which basically means it couldn’t walk…it always stayed in the “splits” position. DRAMA. So, it had to be hand-fed. DRAMA. And returned to our sweet “chicken lady” to help make it leg braces to correct it’s problem, so it could have a normal life later on. Did I mention, DRAMA?!

Remember when I mentioned that Katie’s chick wasn’t the first to “start” hatching? Well, Addison’s egg, the “cochin” chick, was actually the first to start chirping, moving, and trying to hatch. It worked hard for an hour or so prior to Kinkajou’s hatching, and then it decided to sleep for a whole day! But, when it did finally decide to completely hatch, it came out strong and LOUD. It chirps (if you call it that, since it sounds more like a loud, almost obnoxious, squawk) ALL. THE. TIME. It’s cute and fuzzy, but don’t let it’s cuteness fool you…it thinks it’s the BOSS! It will peck at anything that it feels is in it’s way of food. It’ll pick on both of the other chicks, for no reason at all. It’ll cry like something is wrong, just to get attention. And, although it’s name is nothing like it’s personality, Addison calls it “Hei Hei”.

And, finally, after waiting past it’s due date, Austin’s “cream legbar chick” arrived. It made us all worry that it wasn’t going to hatch at all. Seriously, I thought we were going to have one majorly disappointed child when he found out his egg was a dud. But, we listened closely to the egg past it’s due date, and there, just as content as could be, his chick chirped and wiggled inside. It took two days after the due date, but Austin’s chick finally hatched. And, when it was finally ready to get out, it did it in record time! This chick was named “Aspen” from within the egg. I have no idea why. Austin just thought it was a cool name, I suppose. But, after it was born and dried so we could fully see it’s feathers, it looked just like a chipmunk because of it’s coloring and stripe down the back. So, we renamed him “Alvin” very quickly. He’s smart, and strong…he stays behind the scenes…just watching the drama around him…but he always finds the perfect time to pester his sibling or steal some food. He has been slow from the get-go…marching to the beat of his own drum.

Now, if you know my kids, which many of you do, I’m pretty sure, if you read my above post, you’ll think I’m totally describing my three kids, too…not their newly hatched chicks!

You can’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor…

Throwback Thursday | Polar Opposite Siblings | May 2012

marsha0727 — Thu, 10 May 2018 14:21:41 +0000

Just in case you were in doubt, Katie & Austin are polar opposites! They always have been. They probably always will be. They rub each other like nails on a chalkboard…

ALL. THE. TIME.

I am in hopes that one day, they learn to keep their pestering balanced with extra love…that they know when to stop before they cross the line. Only time will tell…

But, I found these pictures this week, and it made me laugh! Even at these young ages of almost 4 and almost 6, their polar opposite personalities (much of the same personalities we see even today at almost 10 and almost 12) were shining proudly…

See for yourself…

Austin…

He is all boy! He loves to get dirty…the more slimy, the better. This was his first time to really fish, and when he was told to dig the hook out, he never questioned it.

Bait a hook? No worries! I’ll do it for everyone! (He’s exactly who I need beside me when I decide to fish!)

He’s adventurous (sometimes even recklessly so…again, I’m hoping age will balance that with a little extra common sense haha)…he beats to his own drum (and on school days, that drum is very slowly beating).

But he LIVES life…and loves life.

He’s the one who brings laughter, spontaneity, and adventure to our family, and I couldn’t imagine life without him.

Then, you see Katie…

She sees the fun had by her brother, and she wants to experience it.

She tries to find the fun midst the yucky dirt and slime. But bless her, she can’t even fake a smile!

She likes control of the situation. She wants to already know how to perfect something before she’s even tried it. And if there’s any chance she may fail, she’d almost rather not try at all.

She’s spirited, passionate (sometimes even overly so…we’re still working on managing those emotions)…smart…and would rather be hanging in her hammock with a good book any day than touching fish guts!

But she also loves quality time together…and she’ll go out of her comfort zone again and again, if it means spending time with her dad or grandparents! She is our constant…our responsible helper…our “balance” for Austin (and I’m ever so thankful for that!)

But you know, even with their crazy differences, these two will forever have these memories. And they will cherish them for a lifetime. Maybe different parts of it…and that’s okay…

Even polar opposites find common ground when it comes to spending time making memories.

And, I can’t even imagine adding our Addison into this mix! She’s a fireball mixture of Katie, Austin, and her own personality…

I love this crazy-beautiful life God has given me!

10 Things I’d Tell My 20-year-old Self

marsha0727 — Tue, 01 May 2018 17:52:23 +0000

I’m getting close to that next threshold of ages on surveys…you know, when you can no longer be grouped with that 20-35 group? And, I must admit, it makes me feel old! I’ll be officially closer to 40 than 30. That’s right…I’m almost 36…eek! And in my “old” age, I’ve spent more time lately in retrospect…not living in regret, but thinking of what I want to make sure I teach my daughters as they much-to-quickly grow up in front of my very eyes. So, here’s a few things that came to mind when I considered what things I’d tell my 20-year-old self:

Don’t rush into living buying the “American Dream”…when we got engaged and married, there were things you were just “supposed” to have and do. You were supposed to be working toward buying your first house. You were supposed to have certain pieces of furniture…real china place settings…and so on and so forth. But, looking back, I think of the many “things” we hurriedly purchased or requested as gifts that are seldom (if ever) used. I think of how we so early in our journey together, put ourselves in holes financially that we would end up spending years to get out of…all because we thought that was just “what you do”. Don’t be afraid to live WITHIN your means…even if it is different that what the norm is. Just enjoy life together.
And, since it goes right along with the previous statement… Material things really are just things, and they don’t last. The older I get, the more I realize how little the “things” mean…and how much stress and clutter (physically and emotionally) they add. Be mindful of getting necessities and non-necessities confused. No, it isn’t wrong to have nice things, but don’t try to find happiness and fulfillment in things…you’ll fall short every time.
One of the biggest things I’d tell a “younger” me…Travel abroad while you’re young and not in the midst of parenthood. When I was young and just married, I wanted to hurry to get that “American Dream” style life much too quickly. I wanted a dog…and when I had a dog, I wanted a house…and when I had a house…I wanted a child…and, well, everything changes after that. Looking back, although we were young and in love and growing closer to each other daily, we didn’t give ourselves much time to travel and enjoy the world together. We always planned for those moments…we dream of those moments even now…but those dreams often have to take a side seat to life with kids. I’m not saying that you can’t travel with kids or while you have kids, but I am saying that you have way more responsibilities (physically and financially) once kids are in the picture. So, if you have the chance, don’t rush so fast into that cookie-cutter life you think you should have as a couple. Live a little…see new things…find passions together…don’t run so fast to the next stop on your journey that you forget to enjoy the views along the way.
Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks you should be doing. I’ve always been a people-pleaser…I’ve spent my life trying to please everyone else, even when it made me unhappy…because, well, that is just me. But, in my “old age”, I’ve realized that it’s okay if I’m not doing everything exactly as someone else thinks I should. I’m not going to please everyone ever…and I don’t have to. In life, if I am doing what God has led me to do, then I’m doing exactly what I should be. Is it easy to be different from the crowd? NO. Do I still find myself comparing myself to others? Yes. But, I’m working daily to remember this…and it’s something that even at their young ages, I’m trying to teach my kids.
Make time to learn life skills alongside of your grandparents/parents while you have them able to teach. This is still a hard one for me. I lost my grandmother last year to dementia/Alzheimer’s, and still to this day, there are so many things I wish I had spent more time asking her or learning from her. But you see, when I was young, I couldn’t imagine needing, let alone wanting to know those “old” ways. Then, when I was in my early adult years, I was away at college and then busy starting my own life away from home. And, before I knew it, I had kids and longed for those days to return when I could spend the day with my grandmother and learn, when instead, I was taking care of my own little ones. I don’t think there is ever enough time with your loved ones…and, even had I spent every day with my grandma before her passing, I’d still want more. But, if you do still have grandparents, soak in their stories…ask them about your heritage…learn some of their how-to tricks. Those things are so hard to learn when they are gone. And, I promise you, you will want it one day…one day when it just may be too late to get it.
Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart…it isn’t easy…ever! But it’s single-handedly three of the greatest blessings I’ve ever had in life. It’s full of scary responsibility, and sometimes, I’d love to hide from that responsibility (I think most would say the same). You’ll make a million mistakes…and they are great at keeping you humble in so many ways…but I wouldn’t take anything for my kids and all that they have and are teaching me as they grow up and I grow “old”. The days are sometimes oh so long, but the years are gone in a blink!
Life isn’t easy…and trials…hard times are guaranteed to come. We so often live in a “Hallmark movie” dream world…where there are always happy endings…life just somehow “works out” before the movie ends. But, that’s guaranteed not to be real life. There will be great moments — bask in them…but there will also be sad ones…challenging ones…incomprehensible ones. And you aren’t always going to be prepared for them in the ways that you feel you should be, because you never see them coming. But, I remind myself often…God has never failed me…and I fail myself often…so there is no reason for me to ever question our journey, but just learn from it and find joy in it. It doesn’t have to be easy to be enjoyable. Often, the hardest journeys in our life have been the very things that brought us the closest to each other and to God.
Be willing to forgive…over and over again. We are human…we live life with humans…and we are never going to be perfect. People have and will continue to hurt you, intentionally and unintentionally. Make a decision now to be forgiving of others…again and again and again. Do it for yourself. It will affect others, but it will affect you in ways you cannot even fathom.
Marriage isn’t 50/50…it’s 100/100. This is one time that math doesn’t work. If you only put 50% effort into your marriage and your spouse only puts 50% effort into it, even though it adds up mathematically to 100%, it truly only equals a half effort at best…and that isn’t enough to survive, let alone thrive in a lifelong marriage relationship. Marriage is 100% from both…giving it your best…your all…every day. And, if you do that…you’ll both see that effort pay off in ways even movies couldn’t dream of portraying.
Live with NO REGRETS. We all know this, but sometimes you get those sobering reminders (I’ve had quite a few lately)…life isn’t guaranteed…tomorrow, even the next hour isn’t a sure thing. If you love someone, make sure they know it. Don’t go to bed angry…make amends as soon as you can…even if your pride has to take a hit. Don’t put off snuggles, pillow talk, bedtime stories, or sunset walks til tomorrow…none of us know how long God has planned for us to have here on earth with our families. Make time to live in the now, seizing the moments we have today, and never give yourself any reason to look back with regret.

So…this isn’t an “exhaustive” list by any stretch. But as I think on life now, and things that I’ve learned over the last almost 16 years, these are the things that stick out the most. What would you say to your 20-year-old self?

My Lil’ Coffee Addict | Funny Friday

marsha0727 — Fri, 27 Apr 2018 06:30:01 +0000

So, earlier this week, Addison and I decided to try our local Walmart pick-up. We’ve used it before (and loved it — here’s my previous full review: Walmart Grocery Pick-up Review), but the one that is right down the road from school just opened their grocery pick-up, so we decided to do it again.

One of the “extras” we have always received from our Walmart grocery pick-up is a nice freebie bag with goodies inside. This trip was no different! I got a nice reusable bag filled with new Coke products, Vitamin water, and Dunkin Donuts iced coffee.

I have saved my DD coffee for a “needed” day…which turned out to be yesterday for me. Thursdays are my most challenging mornings…over halfway through the week…a late, and usually draining, night of Awana at church, and tasks left to complete. So, I decided to break it out.

“What is that drink, Mom?”

“It looks really yummy.”

“Can I try it?”

Even telling her that it was coffee did not lessen her desire this time. So, thinking she’d taste the “coffee” in it and leave me alone to enjoy my DD, I gave her a sip.

Not my best idea.

This child literally begged for (and even tried to sneak sips of) my coffee! So, I hesitantly gave her a small sip here or there, while I tried to enjoy most of it for myself. But, when she saw that there was very little left, she took it for herself and told me she needed the rest because I had had enough.

She liked my coffee…

I mean, she really liked it…

Did I fail to describe just how much she liked it? Watch this…

Happy Friday, y’all! I hope it’s full of as much enjoyment and satisfaction as she got from my freebie Dunkin’